Mary here. Last week, I wrote a little about finding some joy to gain strength for the fight ahead. Then, today, I broke that blog post by accident and now it‘s just gone forever I guess? Ugh. #2020, amirite?
But suffice it to say, Dann and I taking some time last weekend to just write, with no pressure, no strings, no specific larger goals — it was so very necessary.
Spending so much of this year in crisis mode has made it difficult for me to access my creativity. And while the SpotiFriday LIVE shows have given me a little something to keep working toward, even they are a reminder of just how abnormal this year is. I have been so driven for so long that after hitting the brick wall that is 2020, I was still trying to think in terms of moving forward, hustling and striving when everything was forcing me to stop. I wasn’t listening, and furthermore felt that I didn’t have the luxury of doing so. And when every musical avenue available to me seemed to be the equivalent of spinning in place at best, I began to grow increasingly frustrated and feel that I must be failing.
Slowly, I have been internalizing the fact that this year is not about growth, but about survival, and that that, too, is a step forward. If I don’t stop striving like it’s not 2020, if I don’t continue to grieve and heal and hold myself and others in love, how on earth will any of us have anything left for what’s coming next — not just the heavy, but also the amazing?
So I pulled up a voice memo of a chorus I recorded I have no idea how long ago, and played it for Dann. And he pulled out his guitar. And we sat in the dark on his deck wrapped in blankets sitting apart, discussing what it might be about, and looped the chorus and sang nonsense lyrics till they started to make sense. The song is mostly finished, and I think I love it. And in the last few days when the panic has set in, I have been able to breathe and remember that I made that space, that it was helpful, and that I can again.
But we never would have gotten there if we had insisted on perfection. The goal was existence inside of creative space, and nothing more. And we got so much more out of it by asking less of ourselves.
Be gentle with yourselves. And we’ll keep trying to do the same. ❤️
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And now that we’re a little more rejuvenated, let’s talk systemic injustice. Here are steps we’re taking, and we invite you to join us!
The occupations-themed companion playlist from last week’s SpotiFriday LIVE show is below. Plus, you can rewatch the show if you missed it (Mary’s half and Dann’s half).
We’re back on Friday at 6 pm EDT on our Facebook page with a “flora & fauna” theme (who doesn’t like a little nature?). And also — we’ve been chatting about trying other platforms for the regular show (YouTube Live, Twitch, etc.) and would love your input on where you would like to watch! Email us at threeathomeband <at> gmail <dot> com with your thoughts. (Or message us. Or send us a letter. Or a carrier pigeon. Notes sent by carrier pigeon will definitely be prioritized.)
Peace,
Mary (& Dann)
3@H