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  • Writer's picturethreeathomeband

I can see clearly now the rain is gone.

[ID: a shot of Mary from above, smiling & wearing purple glasses, a purple T shirt that says “Austin” on it, & purple pants with a piano keyboard design.]

“It’s like putting on glasses.” - Jenn Welch

“What the f$%& did you just say to me??” - Nikki Glaser

I have been routinely listening to this amazing podcast called LadyHD, after my dear friend, photographer, artist, and fellow ADHDer Amanda LaMartina accidentally discovered it and told me about it. It’s funny, delightful, moving, and incredibly validating of my lived experience as a woman with ADHD, especially as one who didn’t get a diagnosis until adulthood.

In an episode I was listening to recently, comedians Nikki Glaser and Jenn Welch were discussing their experiences with taking stimulants for the first time as a person with #ADHD. Jenn was trying to describe what it’s like, and that ^^ is the phrase that came out of her mouth. She blew Nikki’s mind. Frankly, she kind of blew mine too.

They went on to talk about that metaphor further. When you first get glasses, the thing almost everyone says is “THIS IS WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN SEEING??” The clarity of vision, the ease of moving through the world, it’s astounding. And you usually didn’t realize how much you were struggling till you put the glasses on.

I have been thinking about this episode for weeks.

These last few months on stimulants have been eye-opening. (Hehehe.) To have moments, even if it’s only a few hours, where I just *have enough dopamine in my brain* …. I’ve often been able to get through executive function tasks in the past, but not without great cost to my patience, joy, and energy. And suddenly, doing the dishes doesn’t have to be this emotionally fraught journey; I just do them. Boredom doesn’t cause me (as much) physical pain. Someone tells me something, and I’m more likely to remember it. I am less prone to rejection sensitive dysphoria, which has turned down the abandonment issues in my head to a more sensible volume.

Stimulants have gotten a bad rap in the past, in part because the earliest ones often did suck and their main goal was to make kids with ADHD more “productive” and “focused” in class. (It’s almost like if you tie humans’ value to their productivity, it’s inherently destructive and damaging?)

The goal is not functionality by someone else’s definition. The goal is not productivity by someone else’s definition. The goal is not neurotypicality.

The goal is the joyful life you deserve, as your fullest self. However you’re getting there today, neurodivergent or otherwise, I see you and I support you.



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